Hi everyone!

I hope you enjoyed my episode 1-2 notes on Love Scout! Today I’m sharing my episode 1-2 notes on Motel California, because I am enjoying it quite a bit more than I’d expected to, and I was wondering if you’d like to join me? 🤗

These are my episode 1-2 notes, exactly as they appear on Patreon, ie, without screenshots (I’m saving those for the actual review).

I hope you all enjoy, and I hope you’ll consider joining us over on Patreon, for the rest of the discussions! ❤️

Episode notes:

E1-2. You know, I hadn’t been sure what to expect of this show, based on its promo material.

I liked the idea of childhood friends eventually being reunited as lovers, and felt like Show might give me what Love Next Door had not managed to.

As I come away from these first two episodes, my main thought is that this is landing much more as a healing drama, for me – even though I’m sure Show will still serve up romance as a strong central arc.

Honestly, I think that reactions to this show will vary, depending on how you respond to our female lead Kang Hee.

I’ve seen some people describe her as strong and independent, and I’ve also seen people say that she’s just a b*tch, and that if this had been a male lead acting this way, everyone would be saying that he’s a red flag.

I don’t know if this is writer-nim’s intention, but my personal takeaway, from these initial episodes, is that Kang Hee is much more complex than that.

In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that my desire to understand Kang Hee is driving my watch more than the idea of the central loveline; in that sense, it’s a little bit similar to how I’d felt about the characters in The Trunk?

At the same time, this drama is very different in tone and feel, than The Trunk.

If I had to pick a drama to compare it to, maybe it could a moodier, more unvarnished cousin of Our Beloved Summer? At least, that’s my impression, from these first couple of episodes.

In terms of the central idea that I’m taking away, about Kang Hee, it’s that she’s a person who carries a lot of emotional wounds, and also, I get the sense that she struggles to love herself.

In fact, at points, I even found myself thinking that she might even carry a measure of self-hatred, that I think is coloring some of the things we see her do.

I don’t know how to explain it; I feel like she hates being in this situation, but that part of her hates herself for being this way, such that she would even be in such a situation, if that makes sense?

And also, I feel like part of her hates that she would even want the acceptance and acknowledgement of people whom she doesn’t even really care about?

Importantly, I do think that she’s trying to love herself, and I’m rooting for her on that front.

As for what I’ve seen people say, that she’s a b*tch and that if a male character were to do similar things, people would flag that as problematic behavior, instead of saying that the character’s being strong.

To that, I would say that I don’t see it as being as simple as that, because it’s true that Kang Hee lives in a very patriarchal world, where women have to fight that much harder, to prove themselves.

And so, when you flip it around, a male character wouldn’t need to do these same things, because they aren’t disadvantaged the same way.

Even if a male character is bullied, they wouldn’t be bullied the same way, or harassed the same way – like how that male supervisor at the convenience store insinuates that she’s prostituting herself and should go to a motel room with him.

And so, in that way, I understand why Kang Hee’s created this armor for herself.

Speaking of the armor, I wanted to say that I do like that the armor is fierce smoky-eyed makeup; I find that very relatable and believable, because it’s true that a certain type of makeup can make you feel a certain way.

And I would buy that fierce makeup would make Kang Hee feel more fierce and therefore more empowered to act a certain way.

I find it poignant that we see that Kang Hee needs the armor in the first place; this means that she doesn’t see herself in this space naturally – she needs the armor to bolster her, to act in the way she wants to.

This is very relatable, certainly, but I just wanted to point out that there’s a disconnect between the kind of person Kang Hee feels like she is on the inside, and the kind of person she wants to present herself as, to the world.

I really do appreciate the representation of the armor in the way of makeup, because I found the scene at the end of episode 1 extra powerful, because of it.

In the natural, we see Kang Hee walking towards the funeral hall, she looks drawn and pale; she is, after all, returning to a place and a people that she’d sworn never to return to, and her showing up, is making her the center of attention and gossip.

At the same time, we see that in her mind’s eye, she’s completely decked out in armor, from fierce makeup to fierce outfit, and that’s the thing that’s giving her the strength and drive to press in, in this moment.

That tells me that Kang Hee is capable of being strong, yes, but it also tells me that at the heart of it, she does feel weak and vulnerable – and that’s why she needs the armor in the first place, if that makes sense?

Taking all that into account, I do want to give props to Kang Hee, for pushing herself into an uncomfortable situation, even though she needed armor reinforcement to do it; it makes me think she will do the uncomfortable thing if it’s what she values, even if she does not like it.

Speaking of which, I did come away very impressed with the way Kang Hee opts not to be re-hired by Moments (“the luxury to not work with people I don’t like” – HA! Loved that!), and the way she opted not to accept the hefty designer fee that Geum Seok Gyeong was offering – because he and Esther had given her something much more precious: her self-esteem as a designer.

This, even though she could really use the money, being unemployed and living in a tiny gosiwon room where there currently isn’t any heating or hot water, forcing her to huddle under her blanket for warmth.

She’s a woman of principle, who dares to walk the talk, and I can’t help but admire that, y’know?

And I’m glad that her standing by this principle eventually pays off, when Director Hwang decides to quit Moments too, to go independent – and basically offers Kang Hee a job.

YAY for a new, cool opportunity, away from that awful dude in Moments!

Having said all that, I suppose I should talk a bit about where we start our story, with Kang Hee choosing to leave for Seoul, at age 20, and declaring that she would never come back.

The way Show sets it up, we can see that Kang Hee is of mixed race, and therefore has some exotic touches to her appearance, like curly hair, freckles and light greenish eyes.

I’ve seen some folks dismiss this as inconsequential (it’s “just” freckles and light eyes) or improbable (green eyes are very unlikely because brown eyes are much more dominant), and I have to say, I don’t agree with either stance.

The thing with Korea (and Japan too) is that it’s a very homogenous country, and someone’s “other-ness” is not appreciated as beautiful or exotic, particularly in a small town, like the one where Kang Hee grows up.

That’s why she’s the subject of so much derision, bullying and gossip, while she’s growing up there.

As for the green eyes, despite brown eyes being more dominant, I don’t even know why people are saying that; just because it’s not likely doesn’t mean it’s not possible. And as long as it’s possible, I’m fine with it.

And I would believe that this difference in how she looks, had made everyone in that small town shun her, and talk about her, and basically make her feel unaccepted and different from everyone else.

That’s not something a kid (or even an adult, for that matter) wants to feel, in their own hometown.

And there’s also the thing that Kang Hee states, that she’d been an unwanted child.

She has her father (whom I was quite stunned to realize is none other than Choi Min Soo, who’d played the scene-stealing Chun / Sky Lord in Warrior Baek Dong Soo!), who seems pleasant enough, but who clearly would prefer not to be a father, and doesn’t really want to pursue a deeper relationship with her.

Through these episodes, we see that he does do some things for Kang Hee, but would rather limit his relationship with her, to that one meeting at Christmas, for their birthday celebration, and some chit chat about movies and such, and nothing more.

He paints it as something romantic and cool, but at the heart of it, the thing that speaks to me loudest, is the fact that he doesn’t want to see Kang Hee more than that one time per year. 💔

We also do hear Kang Hee talk about how he hadn’t wanted to be a father, and that, to my ears, does translate into a deep-seated sense of rejection, that goes back to the very core of her existence.

Her father hadn’t wanted her to exist. 

That’s a very heavy thought to shape your life, and this is a key thought that’s shaped Kang Hee, and I do feel like this contributes a lot to her struggle to love herself; because, if your own father hadn’t wanted you to exist and doesn’t seem to really want to be around you, and has been that way from the time you were born, that does something to you at a fundamental level, doesn’t it? 💔

I do think that this lack of father-daughter relationship is why Kang Hee addresses him by name – Chun Pil-sshi – instead of Dad.

Through it all, I get the sense that Yeon Su had been Kang Hee’s single source of warmth, acceptance and love, and that in his love, she’d been able to draw enough strength to keep going, until adulthood.

At the same time, I believe that Kang Hee recognized that she couldn’t just depend on Yeon Su forever, to be that source of acceptance and love; I do think that she’d believed that she would be more accepted in Seoul.

After all, Seoul, as a big city, is a lot more diverse and cosmopolitan than the small town where she’d grown up, yes?

My take is that Kang Hee knew that she couldn’t keep living in this small town, with Yeon Su as her only source of acceptance, and she believed that she would find a more accepting environment in Seoul, and that’s why she was adamant about going.

At the same time, I feel that Kang Hee knew that Seoul wasn’t for Yeon Su, and therefore, even though Yeon Su was really important to her, she felt that she couldn’t take him up on his offer to go to Seoul with her.

In that sense, I feel that she was doing what she believed was the right thing, for each of them.

As for why she’d asked Yeon Su to sleep with her, before saying goodbye to him for what she’d believed was forever, I think it was as much for Yeon Su as it was for herself.

We hear her tell Yeon Su that the first time is the purest, and she wanted to be his first. I would venture to say that she felt the same way for herself; that she’d wanted Yeon Su to be her first as well.

To my eyes, she’d felt like this was the best she could do for the both of them, given that she felt compelled to leave, and compelled to let him continue living in their hometown; to have a moment to love unreservedly, because to have loved and lost, is better to have never loved at all – is how my brain is processing it.

Kang Hee acts nonchalant about it, but I do think that it means more to her than she’s letting on, and that’s why she does look sad, as she leaves Yeon Su behind, as the bus rolls away.

Through it all, Yeon Su remains the home in her heart, just like she’d drawn on that grape soda can, and I do believe that that’s why she keeps imagining Yeon Su waiting for her at the crosswalk, while going about her life in Seoul.

It’s not presented in so many words, but it’s clear that she puts everything into perspective through the lens of “What would Yeon Su say, or think?”

She doesn’t seek him out the way he searches for her, but it’s clear that she’s never forgotten him, nor stopped loving him, in all the years that she spends away from him, in Seoul.

Speaking of which, I have to say, Yeon Su is such a sweetly steadfast character, that I don’t even mind too much, that they put Na In Woo in that ridiculous fat suit for a chunk of these episodes.

It’s a very melty idea, that Yeon Su’s never stopped loving Kang Hee, all these years, and that he takes regular weekend trips into Seoul, just to search for her, even though the endeavor is literally like searching for a needle in a haystack.

It’s very endearing that just the thought that he’s looking at the same moon as Kang Hee, makes him smile, even though he hasn’t heard from her in years. 🥲

The way he just grabs onto Kang Hee, so tearfully, when she shows up at Grandpa’s funeral wake, is so visceral; I feel like every cell in his body has been waiting for the moment when he’d be able to see Kang Hee again. 🥲

This doesn’t prove to be the reunion that he’d hoped for, but of course drama logic promises that their paths will cross in a more meaningful way, and soon.

In the meantime, of course there are second leads who are showing in both our male and female leads respectively.

I can understand that girl having hearts in her eyes for her cool sunbae, and it’s true that Yeon Su’s glowed up quite nicely since his fat suit days. 😁

As for second male lead Seok Gyeong, the thing that strikes me most, is that his features do have a bit of a mixed blood vibe to them, which makes him appear like a potentially good match for Kang Hee – at least visually.

I don’t know if that was the intent, but that’s what my eyes are seeing anyway. 😅

I do like that he seems to appreciate Kang Hee, even though, by the time we end episode 2, he’s already seen her let loose while completely drunk.

I rather like the idea that he’s not put off by her being different, and is, in fact, drawn to her.

I also like that he’s gentlemanly enough to back off when he thinks she’s telling him that she has a date with her boyfriend.

So I’m not at all surprised, when he agrees to help Kang Hee, at the end of episode 2, and poses as her boyfriend.

It’s just too bad that Dad Chun Pil is savvy enough to understand that Yeon Su is the one who’s truly special to Kang Hee, and arranges for Yeon Su to be the one in the hotel room, for his annual meetup with Kang Hee.

I know it’s a misunderstanding that Kang Hee can easily clear up, but given how she’s been studiously keeping a distance from Yeon Su, I’m concerned that she won’t clear it up – and I feel pre-emptively bad for Yeon Su. Don’t hurt steadfast Yeon Su!! 🙈

All in all, these were, for me, a thought-provoking pair of episodes, and I already feel quite invested in Kang Hee’s journey to healing and wholeness. 🥲

*This show is being covered on the Early Access Plus (US$10) Tier on Patreon*

To view episode 1-2 notes in Patreon, along with everyone’s comments, you can go here!

You can find my Patreon page here, and for all future episode notes for this show you can click here.

Episodes 3-4 notes will be out soon! I hope you’ll consider joining us!

It’ll be a way to have fun, and support me at the same time? 🥲❤️

PS: For more information on what the Patreon experience is like, you might like to check out my Patreon update post for January, which you can find here!