THE SHORT VERDICT:

The most important thing I feel I could say about this show, is, don’t let its somber premise put you off.

Show is thoughtfully written, tenderly directed and wonderfully delivered, so much so that I found myself feeling fully engaged, from beginning to end.

Our entire cast is excellent, but the standouts are our leads, Kim Go Eun and Park Ji Hyun, who both give us performances that feel wonderfully raw and real, so much so that I could fully buy that they just simply were these people.

An underrated gem that’s absolutely worth the investment of your drama hours – and your heart. 🥲

THE LONG VERDICT:

To be honest, I’d been extremely hesitant about pressing “play” on this one, my friends.

I’d given this one a preemptive miss at first, mostly because I didn’t think it would be very enjoyable to watch a show about a pair of fallen-out ex-friends, with one of them diagnosed with a terminal illness, no less.

That sounded.. heavy, y’know? And I mostly don’t actively look for heavy, when I pick my dramas.

Many thanks to GB, whose tenderly written, appreciative comments about this one, which she wrote over on Patreon, gave me a bit of an extra nudge, to give this show a try.

To my complete and utter surprise, Show sucked me in right away – and then kept me sucked in, all the way to the end. I was completely enraptured, my friends.

Talk about subverting expectations, eh? 🥲

A NOTE ON THIS REVIEW

This review is a curated, condensed retrospective of my experience watching the show.

If you’d like to experience the drama alongside me, episode by episode, you might enjoy checking out my episode notes on Patreon here. They capture my unfolding reactions as the story develops – it’ll feel like we watched this show together. 🥰

If memberships aren’t your thing, individual episode note sets are available for purchase too. ❤️

OST ALBUM: FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE

Here is the OST album, in case you’d like to listen to it while you read the review.

In a word, I’d say that this soundtrack is on the eclectic side of things, and yet, the music is applied so well, that I found that I barely noticed the music, even as it amplified and deepened, my immersion in the show.

If I had to pick a favorite, that would be Track 11, Note and Pencil, which I find ethereal and wistful and just quite beautiful; a nice encapsulation of how I feel about this show. 🥲

Here it is on its own as well, in case you’d prefer to listen to it on repeat instead. Just right-click on the video and select “Loop.”

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS / THE VIEWING LENS

Here are some things that I think would be helpful to keep in mind, to maximize your enjoyment of your watch:

1. This is not a romance

There is some romance in this, but the main focus of our story, is the friendship between our leads, Eun Jung and Sang Yeon (Kim Go Eun and Park Ji Hyun).

Managing your expectations around that, helps.

2. Think small, but deep

What I mean is, our drama world does tend to be on the small side of things, so knowing to expect that, helps.

On the plus side, Show goes deep in exploring our characters and relationships, and that makes it all more than worthwhile.

3. Don’t over-anticipate

What I mean is, yes, it’s kind of a heavy thing, that Show reveals in its opening minutes, that one of our leads has a terminal diagnosis.

Rather than bracing yourself with this in mind, I find that it’s more helpful to just relax into the story that Show wants to tell, and allow it to take you on the journey.

STUFF I LIKED

The thoughtful, detailed writing

I’ve heard so many people talk about how well-written this show is, and, I have to say, now that I’ve watched this show for myself, I absolutely echo that sentiment.

All throughout my watch, I found myself marveling at how thoughtful and realistic the characterization is, of both Eun Jung and Sang Yeon.

It really, really feels true to life, and I found myself thoroughly engaged and absorbed.

The thing that strikes me the most about this story, is that it’s so.. human. 🥲 There are no big bads in our story world; just normal people trying to get by.

They’re all responding to their circumstances in ways that feel very understandable and human – and yet, it’s through a series of these very human responses, that unhappy things happen in this story world.

It’s heartbreaking, yet so understandable. As other people have said before me, it’s easy to understand both sides of the story. I consistently felt like I could understand the thoughts, reactions and decisions of each of our characters, and with what felt like a lot of clarity.

Which, may I say, definitely qualifies as a sign of good writing, in my books.

Additionally, Show managed to keep me fully sucked in, even during the angsty portions of our story.

Nothing says “well written” like Show serving up the angst, and still managing to keep my full attention and engagement – while also managing to allow me to sympathize with just about everyone, in this story world. 🥲

Just really, really well done, overall.

The storytelling approach

In terms of the storytelling approach, I’d had an inkling going in, that we’d be working with split timelines, and that is absolutely what we get.

The past timeline is basically narrated by present-day Eun Jung, as she writes the story.

For much of our story, we spend almost all of our time deep in flashbacks, with Show systematically building the backstory for us, around our central relationship, between Eun Jung and Sang Yeon.

We only spend small snippets of time in the present timeline, but those small snippets still work very well, to ground the flashbacks within a current context.

Overall, I found the storytelling approach very effective, and count it as one of Show’s highlights.

The casting of our younger leads

I have to admit that during my watch, I was arguably the most captivated by the earliest timeline, where we see the younger versions of Eun Jung and Sang Yeon first meeting in middle school, and how their connection evolves over time.

And, a big reason for my being so taken with this section of our story, is because I love the casting of the younger actors who play Eun Jung and Sang Yeon; there’s a measure of physical similarity, yes, but more than that, the vibes that each gives off, is very similar to that of her adult counterpart, and I love that. 🤩

I love that I can easily believe that these are truly the younger selves of our main characters.

Park Seo Kyung, who plays Sang Yeon, does really well, but I have to say that I’m especially impressed by Do Yeong Seo, who plays young Eun Jung.

There’s something very earthy, matter-of-fact yet nuanced about her portrayal, that makes me easily believe that this really is young Eun Jung, rather than a young actor trying to portray young Eun Jung, if you know what I mean?

She’s the one who grounds the past timeline story for me; even in scenes where Eun Jung doesn’t say a lot, I feel like I can understand what she’s feeling, and Do Yeong Seo delivers it so naturally too.

I really think that Do Yeong Seo’s got a bright future ahead of her in acting, she does that good of a job, to my eyes. 🤩

SPOTLIGHT ON CHARACTERS / RELATIONSHIPS

Kim Go Eun as Eun Jung

I thought Kim Go Eun was wonderful as Eun Jung.

She plays Eun Jung with a lovely mix of earthiness, guilelessness and steeliness, which I found very interesting and appealing.

One of my favorite things about Eun Jung is her innate desire to be a decent person and do good by the people around her. I also loved her ability to feel joy in the moment; that joy consistently felt very pure to me, and that made me feel that she was a pure soul. 🥲

At the same time, I appreciated her inner steely core, and her ability to see things with clarity, even in the midst of overwhelming emotion.

Yet, she is most often led by the heart, and I really like that about her. ❤️

Park Ji Hyun as Sang Yeon

Park Ji Hyun is fantastic as Sang Yeon, and I was very much impressed by her interpretation and delivery of this very complex character.

I found Park Ji Hyun believable at every stage of Sang Yeon’s journey, whatever the state of Sang Yeon’s mind or heart.

I was most impressed with her delivery of Sang Yeon’s fragility and vulnerability in the present timeline, which I found absolutely natural and believable, despite the very different versions of Sang Yeon that she portrays in the flashbacks.

A very excellent performance by Park Ji Hyun, which I honestly think is award-worthy.

Eun Jung and Sunbae [SPOILERS]

I have to admit that I have a soft spot for the loveline between Eun Jung and Sunbae (Kim Gun Woo, whom I now officially think of as an up-and-coming romantic male lead who just needs to be cast in an actual romance).

I found their courtship and relationship very wholesome, in a low-key, everyday kind of way that made me feel like these two people could be together in this manner, for a long time.

Even though there are things that end up tearing them apart, I couldn’t help but hope that they would find a way to rekindle their relationship, because it felt like such a waste to let such a wholesome relationship go. 🥲

Overall, I thought this relationship was portrayed with just as much sensitivity and nuance as our central friendship, so much so that I felt that this relationship could exist in real life. 🥲

Here’s a collection of my thoughts about this relationship, from my watch.

[SPOILER ALERT]

E3-4. I found Eun Jung’s reaction to photography sunbae Sang Hak very understandable.

And, kudos to Kim Go Eun; just from her delivery alone, I could guess that Sang Hak Oppa had somehow died, and wasn’t of this world anymore.

There’s just something about her red-eyed, teary, barely-holding-it-together confusion that just spelled raw grief to me. 💔

It’s easy to see that Sang Hak Oppa had meant a lot to Eun Jung, and that she’d been very affected by his passing, based on how she responds to this new Sang Hak sunbae, particularly since this Sang Hak also is passionate about photography, like Oppa had been, and is immediately kind and a little indulgent of Eun Jung, the way Oppa had been with Eun Jung, before his death.

It must be very disconcerting for Eun Jung, and I can understand why she would freeze up around him; his very presence, and his similarities with Oppa, altogether bring Eun Jung face to face with her loss.

And clearly, that loss is something that she’s never quite managed to process nor come to terms with, which is why she finds it so raw and confronting, even though Sunbae is unfailingly pleasant, helpful and friendly, every time they cross paths.

I do feel bad for Sunbae, because for a long time, he remains clueless as to why Eun Jung is so uncomfortable around him, and then there’s also that drunken debacle, where she declares in front of everyone, that she’d never date him.

AND, there’s also that beat in the car afterwards, when she drunkenly mumbles that she’d basically disliked him from the start, because he’s Sang Hak.

I can totally understand why Sunbae would withdraw from Eun Jung after that, because – oof – that must have been mortifying and humiliating for him 🙈, especially since he’d kind of hinted silently at his interest in her, when the group had questioned him, just before Eun Jung’s outburst.

At this point, I was willing Eun Jung to just go up to him and apologize right away for her drunken outburst, and I was disappointed that she doesn’t.

This does strike me as her being rather cowardly about it, and yet, I can identify with her instinct to hide &/or avoid the issue.

Eun Jung’s not confrontational by nature, and when it comes to “fight” or “flight,” I can completely understand her instinct to choose “flight.”

It’s just.. I couldn’t help but hope that Eun Jung would choose courage, in this moment, since her words had clearly embarrassed and hurt Sunbae, and I couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she doesn’t, even though I could understand her paralysis around this.

I’m glad though, that when Eun Jung learns that Sunbae’s chosen not to go on that photography trip because of her, that proves to be enough of a nudge for her, that she does seek him out to talk it out.

Having seen how Eun Jung naturally leans non-confrontational, I appreciate that this does take courage for her to do.

And how lovely, really, that their conversation ends up going so well, with the tension and awkwardness eventually melting away, as their interaction becomes more open, after the initial apologies on both sides.

It feels like a very welcome breakthrough, when Eun Jung cracks a sheepish smile, which, in turn, makes Sunbae chuckle. I liked that very much. 🥰

What a cute promise too, that they would meet early at the bus, and that he’d buy her a popsicle. 🥰

I have to say though, that when Sang Hak doesn’t show up the next morning as agreed, I could absolutely understand Eun Jung being on such nervous tenterhooks.

After all, this was quite reminiscent of how Oppa had died, yes? With him just suddenly disappearing, without a word?

With her grief over Oppa’s passing still so strong, I can understand why Eun Jung would have feared the worst, all the way to Pohang, and how that would have put her on such a raw edge, such that she’d break into tears at the sight of Sunbae at the guesthouse.

And, I can also understand why she would turn around and run away – because she doesn’t want him (or anyone else) to see her tears.

I’m so glad that Sunbae goes after her, and I’m also glad that Eun Jung eventually blurts out the truth: that she’d been afraid that he’d died.

That’s really important information for Sunbae, and I’m relieved that even though Eun Jung doesn’t provide the details, we learn from her voiceover, that he figures out some really important things, from her reveal.

Why she’d been acting so strange around him; who had owned the roll of film that she’d brought to the club, and what had happened to them.

Although I feel bad for Eun Jung’s heart being all torn up, I’m all for this, because not only are these tears cathartic for Eun Jung in her healing journey, they also foster understanding between her and Sunbae.

I feel like it’s this burst of honesty via her tears, that sets the stage for Sunbae to confess that he likes her, and for Eun Jung to admit that she likes him too.

And after all the angst and tears, I did appreciate the lighthearted note on which they seal their relationship – with Sunbae telling Hyeon Guk to give A Ra 10,000 won, coz that had been the bet that the two of them had made, about whether or not Sunbae and Eun Jung would end up dating. 😁

Although we don’t really get to see Sunbae and Eun Jung settle into their new relationship, I did like getting to see, 1-year time skip later, that they’ve settled into a happy and comfortable relationship, where Sunbae even comes to help Eun Jung man Mom’s eatery.

There’s something very assuring about that kind of ease and comfort in a relationship, to my eyes. 🥲

E5-6. I actually really like how normal and pleasant Eun Jung’s relationship is, with Sunbae.

They aren’t a fiery, crackly sort of couple, and that’s perfectly fine.

In fact, I find myself really drawn to the comfortable, easygoing sort of vibe that they’ve got going on, through most of their relationship.

I like that they talk with each other, and laugh and joke with each other; it makes me feel like this is the kind of relationship that could last for the long term.

That is, until Sunbae finds out that his Moonee Hyung is none other than Oppa (Kim Jae Won), which tilts his whole world, really.

It makes complete sense to me, that Sunbae would need time to process and to grieve, and of course, since Oppa had been Sang Yeon’s brother, it makes sense that he would naturally talk about Moonee Hyung, with her.

And, it also makes sense that he would want to help Sang Yeon, in terms of tracking down Dylan, the girl whom Oppa had loved, and also, in terms of offering her any other memorabilia related to Oppa that he happened to have.

I can absolutely see how this all comes from a place of innocent, pure intention.

At the same time, I can also see how leaning too deeply into this connection, could start to cause things to become more gray and undefined.

Like that long walk that night, when Sunbae literally walks Sang Yeon home over what seems to be several hours, with them talking all the way.

Sunbae agreeing to let Sang Yeon be the one to decide when to tell Eun Jung about Oppa is a problem, because this means that Sunbae is also keeping this a secret from Eun Jung, and of course, when Eun Jung stumbles upon it via that letter that Sunbae sends to Sang Yeon at her faculty, of course Eun Jung would regard this with a lot of suspicion and uncertainty.

A seed of doubt, once planted, can become a very poisonous thing, and I feel so sorry for both Eun Jung and Sunbae, that this seed has appeared in their otherwise stable and positive relationship.

And of course, it sure doesn’t help, that Sunbae’s now in the military, and therefore mostly not present, to nurture this relationship more actively.

E7-8. I do credit Eun Jung for relenting and making up with Sunbae, even though she still felt hurt by the fact that he’d kept a secret from her, and had written to Sang Yeon without her knowledge.

I do wish that Sunbae would have just declined to get any further involved with Sang Yeon’s secret mission, right?

But then, he’d known Oppa too, and had so much regard, respect and affection for Oppa as well.

I can see why he would have a soft spot when it came to Sang Yeon wanting to find out why Oppa had died, so much so that he would help her anyway, even though I’m sure he was uncomfortable in his conscience, knowing how troubled this would make Eun Jung, if she knew.

Plus, Oppa’s truth turns out to be unexpected enough, that I could see Sunbae being worried about how Sang Yeon might take it, when she came to know of it.

So I can understand Sunbae’s decision to take leave from the military to personally tell Sang Yeon how to reach Dylan – and then be around, in the aftermath, for just in case.

It’s just really unfortunate that he feels unable to tell Eun Jung about this, and I respect Sunbae for being a man of his word, coz he’d agreed to Sang Yeon’s request, to let Sang Yeon be the one to tell Eun Jung about this, when she was ready.

And.. this is really where things really start to fall apart, isn’t it?

Because of course Sang Yeon would have a meltdown and run off into the mountains, when she realized that Oppa had felt so unable to exist in his own skin, and of course Sunbae would rush out there to look for her, coz he’s worried that something terrible might happen to her out in the mountains, the way something terrible had happened to Oppa, out in the mountains.

Honestly, I do think that Sunbae could have given Eun Jung a heads-up of some kind, before running off.

Maybe something along the lines of, “I really need to go right now, but I’ll explain everything later” could have worked?

But I can understand that in the moment, it’s hard to think straight, and Sunbae had probably panicked and just run off, before his brain could even catch up.

I do think that the decisive moment, for how things would eventually go down, is when Sunbae opts to switch off his phone, even though he knows that Eun Jung’s trying to reach him after his sudden disappearance.

Of course, I don’t think Sunbae knew the implications and consequences of that decision; I believe that he’d thought that he would be able to explain everything to Eun Jung after the fact, and that Eun Jung would be able to forgive the fact that she’d been unable to reach him.

On this point, I have to agree with Eun Jung, that the fact Sunbae chose to switch off his phone, in the face of her incoming calls, said more about the state of his heart than he even knew.

It’s true that in that moment, he chose to ignore Eun Jung, in order to be beside Sang Yeon.

I do give him credit though, for being brave enough to admit to Eun Jung, that his heart had wavered for Sang Yeon. I feel like a lot of people would have opted to insist otherwise, in his shoes, so Sunbae gets points for honesty.

I honestly feel sorry for Eun Jung, as she tries to maintain that happy couple facade at the exhibition among her friends, when she feels so uncertain and betrayed at the same time, in regards to her relationship with Sunbae.

I also give Eun Jung credit for not jumping to conclusions about Sunbae, and actually asking him questions, to hear what he has to say, about whether he’d turned off his phone and why, and also, about whether Sang Yeon had asked him to go out there, to join her.

Her questions are valid and penetrating, and I feel like Eun Jung’s put a lot of thought into this; that she’s carefully considered what the key things are, in this situation, that would inform her of the truth that she needs to know.

I also respect Eun Jung’s sense of self-worth, that she would refuse to give Sunbae the time he asks for, because it really boils down to him figuring out whom he’d rather be with, between her and Sang Yeon.

She refuses to allow herself to be put in that degrading position, and makes the choice to break up with him instead, which breaks her heart, but does put power in her own hands.

E7-8. As I watched these episodes, it’s Eun Jung’s clarity in the midst of her heartbreak, that impressed me the most.

That thing that she says to Sang Yeon, that Sang Yeon’s free to like Sunbae, but the thing that hurts and angers her, is the way Sang Yeon saw Eun Jung as an obstacle between her and Sunbae, is so.. penetrating and true.

And Eun Jung is also so accurate in her estimation, that Sang Yeon, in asking Sunbae for that favor, had just wanted an excuse to spend time with him.

Augh. This must be so hard for Eun Jung, to feel so betrayed by the two people whom she considers closest to her, outside of her family.

I do feel bad for Eun Jung, that all this comes at a time when she’s just gone on record with her relationship with Sunbae, in her choice of photographs for the exhibition.

Just when everyone’s been admiring the photographs, and commenting on what a happy and perfect couple she and Sunbae make, their relationship falls apart.

It’s horrible timing, and there’s so much to face, in terms of everyone likely wanting to know what happened, that I can understand Eun Jung’s eventual decision to take time away from school, to get away from it all.

It’s drastic, yes, but it does effectively take her out of the environment where everyone would be gossiping about her and Sunbae, so I don’t fault her for that choice in the least.

It makes complete sense to me, that Eun Jung would choose to back to her hometown, to rest and recover from it all, and I do appreciate that Sang Yeon does what she can, to tell Eun Jung the truth about Oppa, in hopes that this would enable Eun Jung to forgive Sunbae.

Given how Sang Yeon likes Sunbae herself, I do appreciate this indication, that Eun Jung is more important to Sang Yeon, than Sunbae.

I also appreciate that Sunbae does everything he can, not to lose Eun Jung; this tells me that he really does care about her.

However, I think Eun Jung’s sad realization, that she doesn’t feel able to trust Sunbae after this, is painfully accurate.

We’ve seen her do every reasonable thing in her power, to move past the fact that he’d written to Sang Yeon without her knowledge, and while things had seemed fine on the surface, it doesn’t change the fact that Eun Jung had kept running to check the mailbox at Sang Yeon’s faculty – just in case.

Checking does give Eun Jung some peace of mind, but the fact that she needs to have that peace of mind constantly refreshed, is very telling; it’s clear that she finds it hard to trust Sunbae wholeheartedly, the way she’d used to trust him.

And so, when she tells Sunbae that she doesn’t have the confidence to go back to the way things had been between them, way back when, I can’t blame her for it, because we’ve already seen that she’s tried, and failed.

With their relationship suffering yet another setback – and a bigger one, at that, with Sunbae even admitting that he’d wavered because of Sang Yeon – I believe Eun Jung when she says that she’s lost the strength to continue, to try to make it work.

And so, sadly, we have that resounding note of finality, as Eun Jung and Sunbae break up for real.

I am sad about this, because, as I’ve said before, they really do make a very sweet couple, and up to this point, I’d found them a very wholesome pair, and could see them comfortably and happily doing life together.

Unfortunately, not every relationship has what it takes the weather the most serious storms. 🥲

E9-10. What draws me in a great deal, is how real and relatable Eun Jung’s unsettled feelings are, as she suddenly finds Sunbae in her orbit, all over again.

I appreciate that Eun Jung does her best to be professional about it, and doesn’t do or say anything to try to influence her supervisor’s decision, when it comes to whether or not to extend the invitation to Sunbae, despite her personal discomfort at the prospect of having to work with him.

I also sympathize with Eun Jung, at having to pick up the phone to call Sunbae, because, as nice and pleasant as I find Sunbae, he represents a very painful memory for Eun Jung, and having to suddenly contend with uncomfortable details – like the way she can still remember his phone number, after all this time – inevitably brings all the memories back.

It’s very poignant to me, to watch Eun Jung strive to remain cool, calm and completely professional in her interactions with Sunbae, even while Sunbae speaks to her in such a familiar fashion, still using banmal and all.

Not only that, he clearly wants to connect on a more personal level, like with the way he asks after her mom.

I don’t blame Sunbae, though; I feel like he still is wistful over how things had ended between them, and wants to reconnect as much as possible, even though he likely doesn’t have any clear idea or hope as to where he would like this reconnection to end up.

What I mean is, I don’t think that Sunbae came to meet Eun Jung specifically hoping that he would be able to use this to rekindle their relationship; rather, I think he’s just hoping for the best, and wants to rekindle some kind of connection, depending on Eun Jung’s comfort level.

E9-10. I do approve of Sunbae’s chosen stance, in the midst of he, Eun Jung and Sang Yeon having to work together.

Clearly, he’s choosing to defer to Eun Jung in all things, and that definitely comes from his sense that he’d let her down in the past, and him wanting to tread carefully now, so as not to make her sad again.

I feel like some people might say that he’s being unprofessional, because work is work, right, but as we see in these episodes, work involves people, and people come with all of their complicated histories and mindsets, and that’s why it’s easy to say that work is just work – but in reality, it’s so much more than that.

And I also can’t help but feel rather touched, to see that Sunbae obviously still cares about Eun Jung, after all these years. 🥲

Therefore, I couldn’t help but feel a little thrilled, to see that the tone of the interactions between Sunbae and Eun Jung, becomes more and more casual and comfortable, the more they work together.

The way Eun Jung gets so happy too, when she gets the chance to go through the storyboards that Sunbae’s prepared, made me feel like there could possibly be a chance for them to have a second chance at love.

PLUS. How about how happily and easily they chat, as he drives her home that evening, right after she’s seen his storyboards?

I’d start to feel a little hopeful too, in Sunbae’s shoes.

But then. When Sunbae ventures to let her know that he’d been happy to see her again, the way Eun Jung replies that she didn’t feel the same, is like a record-scratch moment – for me, and I’m sure, for Sunbae too.

In that split second, it feels like Eun Jung’s closed up her heart again, and I have to admit, I’m really quite disappointed. 😭😭

I mean, I’d had a sense, from the beginning of our story, that whatever relationship ended up coming between Eun Jung and Sang Yeon, wouldn’t end up lasting, but still.

Show had given me reason to hope again, just a little, and I can’t help but feel rather gutted, that Eun Jung seems to be turning cold towards Sunbae again. 😭

[END SPOILER]

Eun Jung and Sang Yeon

This is the central relationship in our story world, and I have to say, I was riveted by it, from start to finish.

Both characters feel so organic, and so human, and it’s not hard to understand both of their points-of-view, in light of their individual characters, which is exactly the thing that makes this relationship feel so palpably like it could be based on actual people and their actual relationship.

[BROAD SPOILERS]

The more we get to know Eun Jung and Sang Yeon, the clearer it is to me, that they are both incredibly talented and smart, and amazing in their own ways.

Yet, oftentimes, I couldn’t help but think that a different reaction from either of them, in any given situation, could have led them in a different direction – and therefore, perhaps, a different result.

That tint of regret is also something that makes this relationship feel so relatable and real. 🥲

I had many, many thoughts about both Eun Jung and Sang Yeon, and their relationship, over the course of my watch, so here, in this next spoiler section, is a sprawling breakdown of the various ways in which I digested the different stages of their relationship.

[SPOILER ALERT]

E1-2. It’s honestly really poignant to see things from both girls’ points of view; as a neutral bystander, it’s easy to see why they would envy each other.

Eun Jung envies Sang Yeon for being a top student, who’s not only really pretty and therefore the dream girl of every boy, including the boy on whom Eun Jung herself has a crush, she’s also from a well-to-do family who lives in a shiny new apartment, and to top it all off, Sang Yeon’s mom is Eun Jung’s favorite teacher, even.

Of course Eun Jung would envy Sang Yeon, yes?

On Sang Yeon’s side, though, she envies Eun Jung for being liked by so many people – including her own family members.

I think that’s honestly the key rub, with Sang Yeon.

She’s seen that Eun Jung’s got many friends at school, and while she envies that, I don’t think that she actually holds that against Eun Jung.

It’s when Sang Yeon’s own mom (Seo Jung Yeon), and later, her own brother, start to be friendly with Eun Jung, and share happy, cheerful, chummy moments with Eun Jung – which is something that they don’t seem to share with Sang Yeon – that Sang Yeon starts to actively resent Eun Jung.

How very unfortunate, that these girls, who are both so outstanding in their own ways, would be so intimidated by the other person’s strengths and successes, that they’d be blind to their own gifts and talents so much of the time, yes? 🥹

I don’t think that Sang Yeon’s mom means to make Sang Yeon feel sidelined, to be clear.

I think that partly, there’s the thing where Mom knows that Sang Yeon’s hit Eun Jung in the past, and she feels like she needs to ensure that Sang Yeon’s now treating Eun Jung well – which translates into Mom being stricter and being more demanding of Sang Yeon.

There’s also the thing where Mom identifies with Eun Jung, because Eun Jung had lost her father young, just like Mom had lost her own father at a young age.

Later on, there’s also the thing with Sang Hak, Sang Yeon’s older brother, who forms a connection with Eun Jung that’s chattier, warmer, and closer than the relationship he has with his sister, Sang Yeon.

It’s no wonder Sang Yeon’s resentment towards Eun Jung continues to simmer, over time, and eventually boils over, when she feels that Sang Hak is being nicer to Eun Jung than he’s ever been to her, his own sister.

Where before, she’d dismissed Sang Hak’s reticence with her as just being part of his weird personality, it stings to realize that he’s not like that with everyone – and that Eun Jung is the exception.

I have to confess that I found myself keenly interested in Eun Jung’s developing bond with Sang Hak, even though it seems fairly clear that this first love didn’t end up working out.

From that moment when he walks her home, and, upon realizing that she’s uncomfortable about having him see where she lives, apologizes and admits his own insecurities, I felt like there really could be a genuine bond between them, despite the fact that Eun Jung is technically a friend of his little sister.

Plus, there’s the way she understands and appreciates his love for photography, which, as we later see, isn’t appreciated by his family, least of all his father.

Additionally, there’s the thing where Eun Jung is just genuinely cute, without realizing it.

The way she keeps saying that she’s a pessimist, because she’d learned the word from Sang Hak, is very endearing, because it’s clear that she has no idea that she’s really quite the opposite of a pessimist. 🥲

I was quite delighted, honestly, to see Sang Hak leaking involuntary chuckles over this, because this is evidence of Eun Jung brightening up his life without even realizing it, and I love the idea of that.

But that’s also the reason that Sang Yeon snaps, because she feels like Eun Jung’s receiving all the love from her own mother and brother, while she’s being ignored and neglected.

The thing is, though, it does seem like whatever the state of their friendship, Eun Jung would drop everything to go to Sang Yeon, if she believed that Sang Yeon were in trouble.

That’s exactly what she does, when Sang Yeon runs away from home; she just keeps searching for Sang Yeon, even in the rain, and only stops when she finds her – and then she brings her back to her mom’s eatery, to dry off and have something warm to eat.

I feel like this could be a foreshadowing of how Eun Jung will be that safe place for Sang Yeon, as she navigates her last days?

In the present, we haven’t yet learned about the details of the relationship between Eun Jung and Sang Yeon, but we do know that they’ve been estranged for 10 years, and the cause of the estrangement had been bad enough, that Sang Yeon says that how could she have called Eun Jung, except with this news of her illness.

That definitely makes me wonder about what had happened, to drive them apart this badly, 10 years ago.

Although Eun Jung accuses Sang Yeon of emotional abuse, when Sang Yeon makes that request for Eun Jung to accompany her on that assisted suicide trip, I see this as Sang Yeon wanting to heal this relationship, as a last wish of sorts.

They say that when you’re on your deathbed (and I paraphrase), all the unimportant things fall away, and you only regret not investing more in the people who matter the most to you.

The fact that Sang Yeon is looking to heal her relationship with Eun Jung before her passing, tells me that she really does value this friendship, and doesn’t want to leave the broken friendship, as a regret in her life.

Of course, it’s extremely confronting for Eun Jung, and I can understand why she would reach for the conclusion that this is emotional abuse – because why would Sang Yeon want to make Eun Jung suffer, right?

I can understand both sides of this equation, both in this timeline and in the past timeline, and I do believe that this is evidence of good writing.

I can also understand why Eun Jung would feel the need to process, and as a writer, what better way to process this, than to finally write the story of their friendship over the years, yes? 🥲

E3-4. I really did like how happy Sang Yeon and Eun Jung are, to meet each other again, but I also couldn’t help but clock how Sang Yeon’s expression changes, the minute she hears that Eun Jung and Sunbae are dating.

In this moment, I’d just assumed that Sang Yeon simply didn’t like the idea of Eun Jung doing better than her, but taking Sang Yeon’s eventual remarks into consideration, about the boy she’d had a crush on, and how she’d stalked him, and how he has a girlfriend, I can’t help but reach for the conclusion that Sang Yeon had come to this university specifically for Sunbae.

To Sang Yeon’s credit, she does tell Eun Jung that she’s planning to move on and find someone else to like, so it doesn’t seem like she’s actively planning on stealing Sunbae from Eun Jung.

But, that doesn’t solve everything, since we do see that, beyond the initial thrill of meeting Sang Yeon again, there are things about Sang Yeon that do make Eun Jung uncomfortable.

Part of it is how Sang Yeon seems to have a connection with Sunbae, on a level that Eun Jung doesn’t seem to share, like the way Sang Yeon and Sunbae always talk in-depth about movies.

We can see that that alone already makes Eun Jung some kind of uncomfortable.

There’s also the thing where Sang Yeon is so studiedly indifferent when she talks about her family situation with Eun Jung.

Clearly, Sang Yeon’s either putting up a front, or compartmentalizing in order to cope; either way, she’s not showing any genuine emotion to Eun Jung, when it comes to talking about her family’s bankruptcy, her parents’ divorce or her brother’s death.

For someone as instinctively emotional as Eun Jung, this must be very perplexing and confusing, because I’m sure she just doesn’t know how to respond to that, y’know?

I do appreciate that Sang Yeon brings Eun Jung to her little humble apartment, even though this apartment is so different from the apartment she’d used to live in, when she and Eun Jung had been classmates in middle school.

It feels like an echo of when Eun Jung had brought Sang Yeon home to the semi-basement where her family had lived; she’d felt embarrassed to invite anyone home, but she’d invited Sang Yeon anyway – and this feels like Sang Yeon reciprocating in exactly the same way. 🥲

Besides that, though, the old discomfort that had come from comparing herself with Sang Yeon, also resurfaces.

Like I’ve said, it’s easy for the two of them to compare themselves with each other and come up feeling inferior, thus forgetting their own strengths, because they are so different.

And it’s all just exacerbated by Eun Jung’s sense of inferiority, when she sees that Sang Yeon’s got a knack for photography that she herself doesn’t.

Although, it’s not like Sang Yeon’s all that ok, either.

That beat of conversation between them, when Sang Yeon asks if Eun Jung knows that feeling, of striving to pretend, trying to make something your reality, but being unable to keep up and just coming to a halt, is, I think, a very telling glimpse into Sang Yeon’s reality.

It immediately clues me in on the fact that all of Sang Yeon’s bright smiles and easy confidence, are more of a facade than anything else, and that on the inside, she most likely feels like a fraud.

Oof. That’s a tough way to try to live, and I felt bad for Sang Yeon, for being stuck in that.

I thought it was a very caring thing, for Eun Jung to do everything possible, to move out so that she’d be able to live with Sang Yeon.

She’s basically looking for a way to make Sang Yeon’s life more comfortable, while also nurturing their friendship, and I found this very heartwarming.

Which is probably why I don’t appreciate the way Sang Yeon conducts herself, at the end of episode 4.

To my eyes, it honestly feels like Sang Yeon’s punishing both her mom and Eun Jung, in the way she takes Eun Jung and Sunbae to visit Mom like that.

I do feel that Eun Jung had been thoughtless in reaching out to Mom like that, instead of asking Sang Yeon to let Mom know that they were going to Gangneung.

After all, Eun Jung has no idea how things are between Sang Yeon and Mom, and whether it’s even a good time in Mom’s life, to be receiving visitors, and it does kinda feel like Eun Jung’s overstepping, in texting Mom without telling Sang Yeon.

However, the way Sang Yeon reacts feels spiteful, to my eyes.

It’s like she’s trying to tear down Mom’s halo, in Eun Jung’s eyes, by bringing Eun Jung to visit her, without notice.

And, it also feels like she’s purposely rubbing salt into Mom’s wounds, by bringing Sunbae along, because of course Mom would inevitably think of her own son, since Sunbae’s name is also Sang Hak.

With how wan Mom looks, it totally feels like Sang Yeon’s kicking Mom while she’s down, and I can’t help but hold that against Sang Yeon.

I mean, it’s true that Sang Yeon’s had this idea, that Mom favored Oppa over her, from a very young age, and that she’s just carried this belief with her, into adulthood, along with the resentment that goes with.

And it’s also true that Sang Yeon’s been jealous of the close connection between Eun Jung and Mom, since middle school, and therefore likely felt resentful of Mom because of this too.

However, it really does feel quite callous of her, to not see Mom’s grief, and even stomp on Mom’s heart, the way she’s doing.

And yet, a corner of my brain can’t help wondering if Sang Yeon could have avoided turning out this way, if she’d received enough attention and empathy, growing up?

Which is why alarm bells are going off in my head, a little bit, at the sight of Sunbae showing her empathy, even while Sang Yeon casually mouths off about how Mom had played favorites, even with her own children.

Something tells me that the friendship between Sang Yeon and Eun Jung, so newly rekindled, is going to suffer because of Sang Yeon’s connection to Sunbae.

E5-6. From Sang Yeon’s point of view, which we get more insight into in these episodes, she’d liked Sunbae first, and connected with him first.

He’d been a source of light in a very dark time in her life, and I can totally see why she would regard him with such strong special feelings.

The initial hook (so to speak) had been the way Sunbae had defended Oppa, a whole year after Oppa’s death, but the deeper, more permanent hook had been the fact that, through Sunbae, Sang Yeon had found a new plane of existence, almost – somewhere where Oppa was still alive and well.

I can totally see why this would be so precious to her, and why she would hold onto it with such strong feelings – and also, why Sunbae would be such a precious and important person to her.

It’s all because of him, that she pulled herself together to get into college, and it’s clear to see that she had chosen this specific university, because she knew that this was where he attended.

So I can imagine what a rude shock it must have been, for Sang Yeon to finally make it to be in the same university as Sunbae, only to realize, very quickly, that he was already in a relationship with Eun Jung.

I think most people in Sang Yeon’s shoes would likely feel like it was very unfair, and perhaps distance themselves from Eun Jung because of this.

Therefore, I do think that it’s to Sang Yeon’s credit that she still does her best to honor her friendship with Eun Jung.

Plus, it’s also clear that she’s doing her best to put aside her own feelings for Sunbae, like in that beat where she tells Eun Jung that her crush had been one-sided, and that she would look for someone else.

Additionally, I also think that she does what she can, to respect Eun Jung’s relationship with Sunbae, like in the way she tells Eun Jung to just let her know, if she and Sunbae need the apartment to themselves.

On Sunbae’s side of things, I also think that he conducts himself in a suitably platonic manner when interacting with Sang Yeon, and one key thing that he does, which tells me that his conscience is clear, is, he regularly updates Eun Jung if he’s run into Sang Yeon, or spent some time with her.

However, that nicely distanced platonic boundary is soon compromised, when Sunbae discovers that Sang Yeon is Moonee Hyung’s little sister, and they start to bond over that.

It doesn’t help, certainly, that Sang Yeon’s specifically requested that Sunbae keep the whole Dylan thing from Eun Jung, because she wants to be the first person to find out.

Given how Sang Yeon had felt so sidelined in Oppa’s life, I can understand her reasoning for wanting something just for herself, even if it’s something as tragic as finding out why Oppa had died.

And, being the upstanding man of his word that Sunbae is, I can see why he would agree; of course he sees Sang Yeon’s logic too.

As for Eun Jung, I can see how, after learning about the letter, all the other things that had niggled at her – like the way Sang Yeon had opened up to Sunbae and told him that Oppa had died – all come rushing back to her mind, involuntarily forming an unwanted picture in her mind.

Eun Jung does try to move past it, and I do credit her for doing that, because not everyone would be openminded enough to do that, I think.

But then, that all gets turned on its head, when Eun Jung finds out that Sang Yeon had actually messaged Sunbae, while posing as Oppa – which then enables Eun Jung to piece together the truth: that the person on whom Sang Yeon’s been crushing, is none other than Sunbae.

Sigh. What a difficult situation this is. 😭

Like I said, it’s so understandable, how each person in this situation doing the various things that they did, and yet, it’s so heartachey nonetheless, because, based on how things are looking right now, it seems like the relationships among Eun Jung, Sang Yeon and Sunbae, will henceforth never be the same. 🥺

E7-8. From Eun Jung’s point of view, I can see why she’d felt like she’d reached a point where the only way forward, was to confront Sang Yeon about whether Sang Yeon had feelings for Sunbae.

I actually agree with Eun Jung’s decision to ask Sang Yeon about it, because I do think it would have paralyzed her eventually, to have this question and the various pieces of circumstantial evidence just hanging over her head.

At the same time, I understand why Sang Yeon would lie about it, and even go so far as to get herself a boyfriend.

That’s how much Eun Jung’s friendship means to her.

She would rather get into a relationship with a guy in whom she has no interest, than risk losing Eun Jung’s friendship.

That’s pretty huge, isn’t it?

And this all seems to work, for a while, even though it also feels like our characters are putting a band aid on a big gaping wound that requires reconstructive surgery. 😅

In that sense, I kind of knew that this carefully repaired state of affairs would eventually fall apart again, and that did make me feel kinda sad. 😐

E7-8. I appreciate Sang Yeon doing what she could, to bolster her friendship with Eun Jung, like helping out at Eun Jung’s mom’s eatery during the peak business period leading up to the new year.

Of course, it would have been even better if Sang Yeon would have stopped asking Sunbae for help in her secret mission, to track down Dylan and ask about Oppa, because that would put a clean-cut end to this situation where Sunbae’s sneaking around without Eun Jung’s knowledge, on Sang Yeon’s account.

But I can understand that Sang Yeon’s burning desire to know why Oppa had died, would prevent her from giving up this glimmer of a clue, plus there’s also the thing where Dylan refuses to speak to Sang Yeon without first talking with Sunbae.

This then begs the question of why Sang Yeon couldn’t have just included Eun Jung, in order to safeguard their friendship.

This could’ve – would’ve – solved the thing where Sang Yeon is having points of connection with Sunbae, right?

I do think that this is something that Sang Yeon possibly regrets, on hindsight.

At the same time, I can understand why Sang Yeon might have chosen not to include Eun Jung.

There’s the thing where she’s so determined to have this one thing that enables her to feel superior to Eun Jung in terms of being connected with Oppa, where, while he’d been alive, she’d always felt like Eun Jung had been closer to Oppa, even though Sang Yeon had been his real sister.

And, there’s also the sneaky thing that maybe Sang Yeon’s not even cognizant of at this point, that there’s likely a part of her that wants to have an excuse to be connected with Sunbae.

That might seem really selfish, but at the same time, I can’t help but remember that Sang Yeon likely feels like she’d been there first, and liked Sunbae first, long before Eun Jung had crossed paths with Sunbae, in university.

I can see how this might have been Sang Yeon’s way of giving this part of herself a pass, so that she wouldn’t feel so much like Eun Jung had jumped ahead of her in line to connect with Sunbae, in a manner of speaking.

When Eun Jung goes into Sang Yeon’s room and reads her diary, it’s definitely an invasion of privacy.

However, I can understand that by this point, Eun Jung would’ve been going crazy with worry, and her imagination must have been going wildly into overdrive over why Sang Yeon and Sunbae had both disappeared at the same time.

I can see why she would’ve cast aside any remaining sense of etiquette, in order to find some kind of relief for her burning desperation for answers.

E7-8. I appreciate that both Eun Jung and Sang Yeon do what they can to make it work, with Eun Jung even insisting on paying her part of the rent, even though she’s taking time away from school and will be living at home for a while.

I’m also really impressed with the way Eun Jung expresses that these years have been the toughest of Sang Yeon’s life, and that she’s glad to have been of help to Sang Yeon, even if it’s just in a small way.

Unfortunately, I do think that this hurts Sang Yeon’s pride, in that, it makes her feel like Eun Jung’s pitying her, and that’s why I think Sang Yeon almost returns the rent money that Eun Jung wires her.

And then, sadly, her world comes crashing down yet again, when she learns that her mom has terminal cancer.

There’s guilt, from how cruel she’d been with her words to Mom, even in the wake of Oppa’s death, and there’s also fear and hopelessness, at what was to come.

To my eyes, it means a lot, that in this moment of hopelessness, Sang Yeon would choose to call Eun Jung; it says to me that Eun Jung is still Sang Yeon’s special person, despite everything that’s happened.

Unfortunately, Eun Jung misses the call, and then turns off her phone, because she’s in the movie theater.

Although Eun Jung’s decision could be dismissed quite easily as her feeling awkward about disturbing her fellow patrons in that movie theater, my gut tells me that there’s something deeper going on.

I would estimate that there’s a bit of “tit for tat” going on here, in that, Sunbae had once turned off his phone on her, because of Sang Yeon, so now, there’s a little bit of spite in the equation, as Eun Jung decides to turn off her phone, even though she knows that Sang Yeon’s trying to reach her.

Of course, Eun Jung has no idea that Sang Yeon’s having a crisis where she’s just realized that her mom’s dying, but, given the delicate state of their friendship, and given how Eun Jung’s proven herself to be very emotionally sharp, I would say that Eun Jung likely has at least a sense, that Sang Yeon must have a pretty pressing reason, for her to pick up the phone and call Eun Jung.

And yet, I can’t actually blame Eun Jung for doing that, because she’s only human, and she’s actually been really quite reasonable and gracious up to this point, all things considered.

However, from Sang Yeon’s point of view, Eun Jung’s turned away from her in her moment of need, and that is a betrayal too big to overcome.

Plus, I would say that Sang Yeon likely knows Eun Jung well enough, to know that Eun Jung had turned off her phone, despite having a sense that Sang Yeon wouldn’t call for nothing.

Therefore, I can understand why Sang Yeon chooses not to tell Eun Jung about the situation with her mom, when she does meet Eun Jung to tell her that she’s moved out of the apartment, and returns the rent money.

Given how important Sang Yeon and Eun Jung have been to each other, and how they each consider the other their closest friend, I can only imagine how deeply this friendship break-up hurts them both.

E9-10. Eun Jung is determinedly cold towards Sang Yeon, even as Sang Yeon leans into her shameless act of behaving like she has a right to be there.

The thing is, I don’t actually see this as Sang Yeon being genuinely obtuse; to my eyes, Sang Yeon is leaning into this act, because she sees it as the only possible way forward, if she wants to reconnect with Eun Jung.

As for Eun Jung’s coldness, I couldn’t help but feel that it was a little excessive, even with the context that we’ve been given – which is when Show takes us to another flashback, this time, when both Eun Jung and Sang Yeon are working as producers, and cross paths again because of work.

This week, I found it a little harder going, and for me, that’s because of the fact that we’re living through the fallout.

Honestly, I feel sorry for Eun Jung, because she has to deal with so very much, during this period.

First, there’s the fact that she suddenly has to meet with Sunbae, and deal with all of the emotional baggage connected with that, and then the higher-ups decide to go with a more famous director, which puts her in a terribly difficult situation, since she’s the one who brought the less famous director on board.

And with all that going on, suddenly, Eun Jung is faced with Sang Yeon, not only suddenly reappearing in her life, but poised to take the producer role from Eun Jung.

What a double – triple, no, quadruple – whammy that is, for Eun Jung, isn’t it?

She’s been working on this film for literal years now, and is only now getting all excited that it’s finally coming to fruition, only to have it all taken from her – and given to Sang Yeon, no less.

I can completely understand why Eun Jung’s so upset that she’d rather quit the company, than try to make things work.

One of the things that I continually appreciate about Eun Jung, is how she strives to be a person of principle.

Like the way she earnestly tries to do her best for Director Ju, even though her hands are pretty much tied.

I do think that that’s part of the reason Director Ju trusts her so much, and holds her in high regard.

I also think that there’s a part of Sang Yeon that envies Eun Jung for being this way, because Sang Yeon herself isn’t.

However, I do give Sang Yeon credit for going to see Eun Jung, and trying to get her to come back to work, because she doesn’t want to steal anyone’s job. That’s pretty principled too, I feel.

One thing that I think gets in the way of Eun Jung and Sang Yeon being able to communicate openly, is Sang Yeon’s tendency to put on a tough front and pretend like she’s all casual and nonchalant, when in her heart, she really isn’t.

Like the way she talks to Eun Jung in this scene, even when she brings up her mom’s death, as a last resort, to get Eun Jung to stay and continue the conversation.

The more I think about it, the more I feel sorry for Sang Yeon, actually, because beneath that facade of nonchalance, I feel that there is loneliness, and there is also fear; fear of being rejected, and fear of not being enough, as she is.

That’s probably why she comes across as rather callous, when she talks about her mom’s illness and death, with Eun Jung, which would, of course, just rub Eun Jung the wrong way, because that’s the opposite of Eun Jung’s preference, even more so because Eun Jung had a huge soft spot for Sang Yeon’s mom.

I’m guessing that’s why we hear Eun Jung say, with what I interpret to be cold determination, in voiceover, that she’s choosing to go back to work, not because Sang Yeon used her “Omma chance,” but for her own self and her work – and that Sang Yeon now means nothing to her.

But of course, the complicated situation just keeps on getting more complicated, as Eun Jung and Sang Yeon actually start to work together.

The thing that strikes me most, while watching episode 10, in particular, is that Eun Jung and Sang Yeon continue to envy each other to the point of being blind to their own strengths.

Eun Jung envies Sang Yeon for having the experience and connections to not only be super sharp at going through the budget, but also, aid her in gaining everyone’s acceptance at the office.

In comparison, Eun Jung feels small and inexperienced.

But then, Sang Yeon envies Eun Jung, because despite all of her own efforts to convince Sunbae to work with them, she fails, and all Eun Jung has to do, is ask Sunbae, and he’s right there, agreeing to take on the job.

I can see why they each feel that they’ll never be able to win, and it’s sad, because they are both excellent in their own ways, and yet they can’t see that, because they’re so blinded by what they don’t have.

[END SPOILER]

SPOTLIGHT ON THE PENULTIMATE EPISODES [SPOILERS]

E11-12. These episodes, old wounds are torn open, with fresh wounds added on top, and it’s all very raw and emotional, and I continue to be completely sucked in.

Tensions continue to fester between Eun Jung and Sang Yeon, and it’s the same rivalry, essentially, with them having an unspoken competition, not only in terms of their competence at work, but also, their worthiness to be loved by Sunbae.

I think it’s one of those things, where, as you keep cutting away at the same places, the cut just gets deeper and deeper, until eventually, you’re no longer looking at a scratch, but a gaping, bleeding, life-threatening wound.

And these episodes, we get to see the second wave of wounds being inflicted, which had very likely sealed the complete termination of their friendship – at least in Eun Jung’s mind, since Sang Yeon’s trying to reach out, in our current timeline.

The nature of the envy and tension is cut much from the same cloth as what we’ve seen in earlier episodes; Eun Jung envying Sang Yeon’s abilities and feeling small as a result, and Sang Yeon envying Eun Jung’s loving and supportive environment, when she feels all alone in the world.

They both can’t help but react, when they see the other person possibly making inroads at work, like the way Sang Yeon can’t help but ask why Eun Jung’s been called into Director Gyeong’s office.

Clearly, they are on guard against each other, as far as work goes.

Plus, of course, there’s the issue of Sunbae.

Every time Sunbae is in either of their orbits, the other person can’t help but take notice as well.

And Sunbae himself, can’t help but be hyper-aware of Eun Jung, and take notice anytime Yu Chan acts any kind of close or cozy around her.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, indeed. 😅

Again, I must commend Show for teasing all of this out in the small beats, because that’s how it tends to be in real life too.

Over and above the big moments, it’s the small beats that add up, and eventually shape our thoughts and feelings in big ways.

I think the complication here, is that Eun Jung and Sang Yeon do still care about each other, despite the tensions that now exist between them.

When Sang Yeon falls ill during that road trip to scope out locations, Eun Jung goes out to look for cold medicine for her, even though she knows that the shops would be closed.

This almost feels like a healing moment between Eun Jung and Sang Yeon, because Sang Yeon does look touched that Eun Jung would have gone to get medicine for her.

But then, Eun Jung brushes it off as medicine that Sunbae had gotten, which only gets Sang Yeon’s hopes up, that Sunbae had done this out of care for her – so of course, when she learns that Sunbae had thought that Eun Jung was the one who was sick, she deflates on multiple fronts.

Because not only does this prove that he hadn’t done it for her and therefore doesn’t harbor special feelings for her, he’d actually done it for Eun Jung, which is a double whammy if I ever saw one. 😬

The thing is, I can’t help but root for Sunbae and Eun Jung to reconcile and give their relationship another chance.

I’ve always thought that their relationship was really quite healthy and wholesome, and not broken beyond repair.

And so, when Eun Jung and Sunbae have that bit of time together, and Eun Jung uses the viewfinder that she’d once given him, and has a deja vu moment, of the time that she’d taken that photograph of him, which she’d then used in the exhibition, my heart couldn’t help but leap with a bit of hope.

Because, when Eun Jung relaxes around Sunbae, they really do get along so easily and naturally. 🥲

But when Eun Jung’s defenses kick in, they kick in without warning, and it then feels like we’re back to square one, with a yawning chasm still between them.

Previously, we’d seen Eun Jung’s defenses kick in, when Sunbae had said that he’d felt glad to see her again, and this time, we see her defenses kick in when she instinctively flinches, the moment Sunbae tries to touch her hair.

I feel bad for Sunbae, but at the same time, this particular incident tells me that Eun Jung isn’t just acting standoffish with Sunbae; there’s really something inside her that flinches when Sunbae gets too near, whether in word or deed.

Of course, this all gets more complicated, when Sang Yeon decides that she would like to pursue Sunbae officially.

Honestly that conversation in episode 11, where Sang Yeon seeks out Eun Jung in her room, goes really quite well; again, it gives me a sense that perhaps things could mend, between Sang Yeon and Eun Jung.

I mean, they even make vague plans to visit Eun Jung’s mom together, because Sang Yeon misses Mom’s sujebi. That certainly feels like them both taking a step towards each other, yes?

But then, Sunbae confesses his feelings to Eun Jung, which Sang Yeon overhears, which galvanizes Sang Yeon into confronting Eun Jung, and telling her to back off, and stop leading Sang Yeon and Yu Chan on.

Ugh. I have to say, even though I feel for Sang Yeon for feeling lonely and isolated, I do think that she’s being unnecessarily rude to Eun Jung.

Perhaps this is her way of not appearing vulnerable, but I really felt my sympathy for Sang Yeon take a hit, in episode 12 in particular.

She comes across as so self-righteous, y’know?

And yet, when the team happens to check out Sang Yeon’s mom’s old apartment as a potential location for their movie, both Sunbae and Eun Jung speak up to try to get the team to use a different location for their shoot.

Clearly, this is out of consideration for Sang Yeon, and I do think that that’s gracious of Eun Jung, given that Sang Yeon’s been so rude to her, so recently.

And once again, I find myself rooting for Sunbae and Eun Jung, because, look, they’re on the same page without even having to discuss anything.

The thing is, judging from Eun Jung’s conversation with Hui Jin over drinks, it’s clear that Sunbae does affect Eun Jung, and more than she’d like to admit.

There’s the thing where Hui Jin points out that Eun Jung regards Sunbae and Yu Chan very differently.

And there’s also the thing where Eun Jung talks about how she hadn’t liked who she became, while with Sunbae; that she’d even opened someone else’s drawers and read their diary.

This is a very revealing statement, I feel, because isn’t she saying that that’s just how much Sunbae affected her? That she would be desperate enough, to act out of character, because of him?

Yes, I agree with Eun Jung that you need to like the person that you are, when you’re with someone.

At the same time, I can’t help fixating on that nugget of truth – that Eun Jung is not at all indifferent towards Sunbae. 🥲

And neither is Sunbae indifferent towards her, because look at the way he instinctively puts himself in danger, in order to save her from that falling light stand. 🥲

This all makes Sang Yeon more and more desperate, which is why she drives right to Sunbae that night, to confess her feelings for him.

I really appreciate how Sunbae is all restrained and kind, even as he turns her down. See, he’s such a good, decent person, and I just want him to have another chance with the woman he clearly still loves. 🥲

And Sunbae absolutely wants that too, given the way he comes right out and tells Eun Jung that he’d like to start over with her, like they’re meeting for the first time.

BUT THEN.

Sang Yeon gets upset-drunk at that work gathering, and has the absolute gall, to ask Eun Jung – who’s kindly taken her back to her own home, mind you – to please not go to Sunbae, because she loves him so very much.

GAH. Seriously?!??

This, even after Sang Yeon’s shot her shot with Sunbae, and gotten her definitive answer from him, that he does not return her feelings?

This, even though Sang Yeon kinda-sorta seems to want to retain this friendship with Eun Jung??

I’m quite aghast, honestly, because this is wayyyy overstepping.

Sang Yeon has no right to ask Eun Jung not to go to Sunbae, particularly since she knows how Sunbae feels about her.

Sang Yeon’s basically asking Eun Jung to forego her own happiness, in order to help Sang Yeon feel less alone, and I am not ok with that. 😟

THOUGHTS ON THE ENDING [SPOILERS]

E13-15. What a journey these last few episodes worked out to be, my friends.

I simultaneously feel like I have so much to say, and yet, I also feel like there’s nothing left to say; I feel rather spent, emotionally, and I just want to curl up and reflect on life, and be grateful for the people in my life. 🥲

Let me back up briefly to episode 13, because before we can talk about the reconciliation between Sang Yeon and Eun Jung, we need to take a look at how their bond had been severed, in the first place.

There are a few key things that I wanted to highlight, from episode 13.

First, I’m honestly glad that Eun Jung stays firm and unmoved, when Sang Yeon cries and begs her not to get back together with Sunbae, saying that Eun Jung has everything, but she herself has no one.

On this, I feel that Eun Jung has a great deal of clarity, to be able to tell Sang Yeon, especially in such an emotionally heightened moment, that Sang Yeon’s responsible for her own misery, and that what she feels for Sunbae isn’t love, but obsession – and that whatever happens between Eun Jung herself and Sunbae, is between them only.

I honestly don’t think I could think so clearly, if I were in Eun Jung’s shoes, and I couldn’t help but feel admiration for Eun Jung, for her emotional fortitude and her ability to think so clearly in the fog of emotion that Sang Yeon was creating.

Thereafter, I did feel that Sang Yeon’s coldness towards Eun Jung was extremely rude, but I can understand that from Sang Yeon’s point of view, she’d been slighted by Eun Jung in a moment of rare vulnerability (because honestly, I do think this is the first we’ve seen Sang Yeon sobbing like this to Eun Jung, and basically begging Eun Jung to do her a favor).

I can understand that Sang Yeon’s instinct is to lash out and be cold towards Eun Jung, although I very much do think that this is very unprofessional of Sang Yeon, from whom I’d expected better.

When Eun Jung turns down Sunbae’s invitation to rekindle their relationship, I honestly felt rather disappointed, though unsurprised, because even before Sang Yeon had made her request, Eun Jung had been resistant to the idea of getting back together with Sunbae, despite her lingering feelings for him.

So on that point, I’m reasonably satisfied that Eun Jung’s decision was indeed her own, and not a decision that she’d made, because of Sang Yeon’s request.

Afterwards, I have to confess that I was appalled at the way Sang Yeon steals Eun Jung’s personal project, and takes advantage of Director Ju’s soft spot for her, to start her own company.

When Sang Yeon states that she hates seeing Eun Jung be so fine, and wants to destroy her, I do think that this comes from a point of self-hatred, rather than a true desire to destroy Eun Jung.

I feel like Sang Yeon hates herself, and hates that Eun Jung can see her so clearly, and that’s likely why she desires to hurt Eun Jung, as a form of retaliation..?

I know it might not make a lot of logical sense, but this is not a logical decision; the way I see it, this is a very emotional decision, and the emotion that I think is driving it, for Sang Yeon, is that sense of inadequacy, self-hatred and shame..?

Of course, there’s also the financial pressure of needing to give her father the 80 million won that she’s promised, as a condition for him to stay out of her life.

And, for what it’s worth, I do think that Sang Yeon feels guilt for doing this to Eun Jung, which is why she goes to see Eun Jung’s mom and asks for that hug. I also think that doing this to Eun Jung, makes her hate herself more, which just adds to the vicious cycle.

No wonder Eun Jung cuts Sang Yeon out of her life, and no wonder Sang Yeon had said, at the beginning of our story, that given what had happened, how could she have contacted Eun Jung, except with this news, that she’s dying.

It actually feels like a bit of foreshadowing, when Director Gyeong tells Sang Yeon that he hopes she doesn’t hurt herself, while swinging her sword around, and she tells him that she doesn’t care if she does, and that she doesn’t care about what happens to her.

To my eyes, this is another manifestation of her self-hatred, and thinking about it, I can only speculate that perhaps her eventual illness had been psychosomatic, where the self-hatred and guilt that she’d felt over the years, had ended up affecting her health.

In the present, I feel like I understand so much better, why Eun Jung’s been so adamant about not allowing Sang Yeon back into her life, even though Sang Yeon keeps showing up and cajoling her about going with her to Switzerland.

When I understood the extent of Sang Yeon’s betrayal of Eun Jung, I found myself agreeing with Eun Jung’s earlier pronouncement, that what Sang Yeon’s doing is basically an act of emotional terrorism.

And yet, as Eun Jung comes to understand Sang Yeon’s situation more clearly – that she really is very, very ill, and in a lot of pain, and literally has no one else in the world – she can’t help but soften towards Sang Yeon.

Although I would have preferred Sang Yeon to have been less flippant in her manner whenever she approached Eun Jung, I do recognize that this was likely her way of coping; she likely doesn’t want Eun Jung to see her in what she probably believes is a pathetic state, and she also very possibly is reaching for this flippancy as a way to get past the huge emotional scars that exist between her and Eun Jung.

Like, if she makes light of it, perhaps it really would help ease things with Eun Jung? And also, I do believe Sang Yeon when she remarks that this is just who she is.

During this process, I found that as Eun Jung saw more of Sang Yeon in her weakness and frailty and softened towards her, I likewise softened towards Sang Yeon as well.

It was honestly, in Sang Yeon’s weakest moments, that I felt like we were getting to see the real her; the person who was in pain, and lonely, and full of regrets, and who was being forced to face her impending death, whether she wanted to or not.

And it was in these moments, that I found myself feeling compassion for her, and actually wanting Eun Jung to fulfill her last wish, not just for Sang Yeon’s sake, but for her own as well.

Like in episode 14, when Sang Yeon admits that the reason she’s doing all this, is because Eun Jung’s still alive, unlike her mother and brother, and this is her chance to apologize.

And she does apologize, for not loving Eun Jung wholeheartedly, but hating her as well.

Honestly, I do feel Sang Yeon’s sincerity and regret, in this moment, as she apologizes, and I feel it too, in her tears, which she sheds in private, after leaving Eun Jung’s studio, which is why I support Eun Jung’s eventual decision to forgive her.

I suspect that some viewers might struggle with the idea of Eun Jung forgiving Sang Yeon too “easily” because of how much Sang Yeon has hurt her in the past, but I do think that, in the face of death, a lot of these things suddenly become a lot smaller, almost petty, y’know?

I think that’s what’s going on, with Eun Jung, as she processes all of this, and comes to the decision to go with Sang Yeon to Switzerland, despite the personal emotional cost to herself.

I believe that in Eun Jung’s mind, this is the decision that would leave her with fewer regrets, and I believe the key reason for that, is that Eun Jung knows that despite all the ups and downs in their friendship, that underneath it all, there had been genuine care and love there, even if that care and love had been undermined by their own human limitations. 🥲

In this present moment, when all pride and pretense gives way to show Sang Yeon’s vulnerability, I can see why Eun Jung would eventually change her mind, and choose to go to Switzerland with Sang Yeon.

And, I’m really glad that Eun Jung suggests that they go to “see” Sang Yeon’s mom together; this feels like a healing of that part of the relationship where Sang Yeon had always felt displaced by Eun Jung, as enjoying more of Mom’s affection and love.

I also do understand Sang Yeon’s point, that because this thought had settled into her young heart, it had ended up shaping her entire world.

It is a rather sad thought, but it’s one of those things that can happen, in life; it’s regrettable, but no one who’d been mature enough, had known to try to help Sang Yeon overcome that thought, and Sang Yeon herself had been too young to know at first, and then become too sucked in to be able to see with any kind of objectivity.

I do really like how straightforward their official reconciliation is; the way Sang Yeon simply says, “I’m sorry for everything,” and Eun Jung answers, just as simply, “Okay.”

Augh. That is honestly so beautiful; there’s so much love and forgiveness encompassed in that small exchange of just a few words. 😭😭

The way Sang Yeon gives Eun Jung back Oppa’s camera, also feels symbolic of everything being returned to its rightful place.

It feels very fitting, in this atmosphere of things being set right, that Sang Yeon would finally get to enjoy the sujebi made by Eun Jung’s mom. In a small way, it feels like Sang Yeon’s getting her wishes fulfilled before her time is up, and that feels precious.

As for Sang Yeon’s decision to opt for assisted suicide, I feel it’s important that she and Eun Jung have a serious conversation about it, where Sang Yeon’s not hiding behind that facade of lighthearted flippancy.

The way Sang Yeon expresses that she would have given it everything she had, if there were a 1% chance of survival – but there is not; the way she talks about how she’d thought that her only options were to either die like her mother, or her brother – but then had felt such relief, when she’d learned that there was a third option, in assisted suicide.

I feel that this really helps to put things in perspective, not only for Eun Jung, but for us, as viewers; with this, we finally have a crystal clear picture of Sang Yeon’s point-of-view and considerations, in making this decision; that it’s not a decision that she’s arrived at lightly.

Honestly, it was both poignant and refreshing for me, to see Sang Yeon and Eun Jung spending time together in Switzerland.

On the surface, it really does look like they’re just on holiday together, taking in the sights. But then in between, we get spots of deep conversation, sometimes about the past and how they’d felt about the other person, and sometimes about the future, ie, Sang Yeon’s impending departure from this world.

It is hard for Eun Jung in particular, because she obviously doesn’t want Sang Yeon to go through with it, but at the same time, she can see how much pain Sang Yeon is going through, and she understands Sang Yeon’s desire to make this choice, while she still feels like herself. 💔

While watching them spend these few days together, I can’t help but notice that Sang Yeon looks more and more tranquil, as they approach the final day, like she’s come to terms with what is to come, and is content.

It feels like, as Sang Yeon comes to a point where there is no longer anything that she feels compelled to protect – not her pride, reputation, dignity or her very life – she becomes increasingly free, like she’s finally found her peace.

Watching her like this, makes me feel both wistful and comforted; wistful for the life that could’ve been, yet comforted by the knowledge that she’s found a state of serenity, with which to face her death.

Even though I’d chafed at the fact that Sang Yeon had read Eun Jung’s story without her permission, I do love the scene where she gives Eun Jung the key to the drawer where she’s kept her diary, and tells her to do with it what she will – and that if Eun Jung really finishes writing her story about them, that she would feel like this was her way of living on in her story forever.

Gulp. This somehow makes everything all the more real to me, like this story that I’m watching, is a true story about real people. 😭💔

When Sang Yeon asks that they say their goodbyes there, in the hotel room, I understand that Sang Yeon’s trying to spare Eun Jung the pain of witnessing her death, and that this is her way of showing love to Eun Jung, but at the same time, I’m glad that Eun Jung tells her to be honest about what she really wants.

Again, I’m so glad that Eun Jung’s able to see Sang Yeon so clearly; this is yet another proof of the depth of their bond.

The way they hold hands, before going through that blue door; the way Sang Yeon finally asks Eun Jung for a hug, which is likely the true hug that Sang Yeon had wished for, when she’d gone to seek out Eun Jung’s mom; the way Eun Jung watches over Sang Yeon so carefully, as Sang Yeon opens the valve without hesitation, and then tells Sang Yeon that she’s done so well, and held on so well.

Oof. There’s just so much love there, in the midst of all the pain and tragedy. 😭

Afterwards, I’m glad that we get a glimpse, no matter how fleeting, of how it takes Eun Jung a long time before she’s able to put that picture of the two of them, on her desk, in an act of closure.

What a raw, painful yet ultimately beautiful ode to a friendship that managed to endure, in the end, in spite of their frailties. 🥹

THE FINAL VERDICT:

Thoughtful, thought-provoking, and utterly affecting.

FINAL GRADE: A+

TRAILER:

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